Jealousy inspires. There is a big difference between jealousy and envy. Jealousy is a sign communicating we want something or admire something. It is an opportunity for us to go after what we desire whether that is a personality trait, a position, a relationship we admire, something tangible, or something someone else accomplished. Jealousy is a positive, forward motivator if used properly. It speaks, that is awesome, I want that too!

Envy detests. Envy hates someone for having what you don’t. Envy causes us to stay stuck, ashamed, and bitter towards people or whatever it is that we want but don’t have. It moves us in a backward, downward spiral. Instead of taking action to go after the new position or career, deeper relationship, healthier body, new jacket, or vacation – you despise other people for doing, being, or having what you don’t.

Envy creates loads self-pity and a side of victim mentality that blocks the channels to acquire those very things we desperately want. It’s self-sabotaging.

Jealousy looks at a confident and optimistic person and says, I want to be more like that, they are a breath of fresh air. What is their secret? How can I become more confident and optimistic? Jealousy is pleased when others inspire positive change.

Envy says, they are so fake and irritating. They act like their life is so wonderful and that they can accomplish anything. Envy is pleased when others go through tough stuff and spiral down.

Jealousy views those who are ahead of them in a position, education, or career and thinks, I want to achieve that, what can this person teach me? How can I model their plan? Jealousy is inspired by other people’s accomplishments.

Envy looks at those ahead of them and thinks, they don’t deserve it, they aren’t qualified, I hope they fail. Envy is vindicated watching others fail.

Jealousy sees strong, healthy, and meaningful relationships and thinks I crave more connections like that. What can I do to deepen my relationships? Jealousy encourages.

Envy sees healthy relationships and feels defensive and threatened by strong relationships. Envy discourages.

Jealousy admires a healthy, fit, and toned body and wonders what they do to stay in shape, what do they eat? Jealousy motivates commitment to setting goals and putting in the work and effort.

Envy loathes the body they want and don’t have. Envy nitpicks, and rips to shreds every imperfection. Envy makes excuses like; they have more time and money to dump into working out and have a faster metabolism. Envy is committed to lack.

Jealousy is empowered by another’s possessions, experiences, and talent and uses it to fuel their next steps to get what they desire. Jealousy believes in themselves, knowing with desire and dedication, they too, can acquire what they set out after.

Envy despises others for their possessions, experiences, and talents. Envy believes they are a failure and places limits on what they can acquire.

Transformation Tips

  1. Become Aware of the difference between jealousy and envy. Understand jealousy can be the kick in the butt you need to go after what you want. Realize envy will not only keep you stuck where you are, but you’ll sink deeper into a self-destructive mindset.
  1. Ask yourself: Do I feel jealous or envious? Which one will inspire me to grow? Which will keep me stuck, small, and hateful? What exactly are these feelings trying to tell me to do? How do I feel about myself when I experience jealousy? Envy? How do I feel about others when I experience jealousy? Envy? Which emotions will influence positive change? Which emotions will influence negative change? How am I going to keep my focus on being inspired rather than spiraling into despising myself and others?
  1. Seek Solutions. Next time you get that feeling, say to yourself, I want that. How can I get it? Who can I collaborate with to help me? What can I learn from them? How can I mimic or model what they do? Who can mentor me or give advice? What step can I take today to get closer to having, being, or doing that? How else can I educate myself or practice that skill?
  1. Empowering Knowledge. Get rid of beliefs that limit you from going after what you want. You can learn new skills. You can develop self-discipline. You can change your attitude. You can stay stuck in envy or uplevel your life by allowing jealousy to motivate you.
  1. Take action. Do something today to invent the life you want!